Dirty Thirty {Part I}

When my husband turned 30 he was sorta down about it and told me he didn’t want a party. So I did what any loving wife would do and invited 100 of our closest friends and family to a surprise party.

I spent two months planning this surprise, alongside his best friend, DJ.

I texted back-and-forth with him for weeks, coordinating all the details. He was to take Waylon out for a bit while I decorated the Country Club.  Then bring Waylon to the party at just the right time and make sure to park where the guests’ cars wouldn’t be seen. We had it all worked out and he was more than happy to help. This is the same guy who cleaned my whole house AND did my laundry {and Miranda! I didn’t forget you ;)}while I was in the hospital giving birth to Bella. Basically, I knew I could count on him to deal with me and my party-planning psychotic-ness with a smile on his face.

Until the day of the party.

I texted him a few hours before the party to make sure all was well on his end. He apologized, saying he wasn’t able to get off work and wouldn’t be able to help me after all.

Ummm, excuse me?! I have a party in three hours. Someone has to get my husband up outta this house so I can go decorate. Then that same somebody gotta get him to the country club at just the right time. DO NOT JACK WITH ME DJ!

Then a picture came.

A dude sitting on a tractor in the middle of a field.

Since when does DJ farm???

I could feel the blood rushing to my face.

Dear. Lord. I’m the person that memes are made of.

I have spent the last two months texting the wrong person.

So as my 30th birthday was quickly approaching, I knew I wanted to get together with all my friends and family. Men are men and I knew planning something was not going to be his forté. And besides that, I’m kind of a pain-in-the-butt so even if he did try to plan me a surprise, I’d somehow mess it up.

To save us both the grief of me waking up on April 24th pissed, I just flat out said, “If you haven’t planned anything I want to get a party together for my 30th.” Cheers to ringing in 30 with my people.

He can save the surprise for a year that I don’t care. When I’m like 36 or something.








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